How to find the right counsellor for you
If you're considering starting therapy, finding the right counsellor for you can feel overwhelming - where do you even start?
Experience
In order to find a therapeutic counsellor who is a good match for you, check if they have experience helping clients with similar issues. Are you struggling within your relationships with others? Do you need support with loss or grief? Is anxiety or stress holding you back in your life? Have you experienced a difficult event that's left you with distressing memories? Much like other services you might invest in, different counsellors will have experience and training in helping with different issues. There are thousands of counselling professionals practising in the UK to choose from, ensuring the counsellor you pick has the right experience and training to support your needs is a good start.
Where to find a therapeutic counsellor
There are many places you can look for a counsellor:
GP
In the UK you have access to free talking therapies through your GP. The upside? It's free. The potential downsides? You don't have autonomy in choosing your therapist, you are appointed someone. There will be a waitlist, how long will depend on the area you live, so if you need support now this might not be the best option for you. You will also be given a limited number of sessions, which again won't suit some people.
Charities
There are charities and community interest companies (CICs) who offer free or low cost counselling, They often specialise in supporting clients in a certain geographical area, and / or certain types of people with certain issues - examples of these include Anxiety UK, Trust House, Time to Talk and Cruse Bereavement. In terms of financial investment, these services are more accessible than a private counsellor. Again, there will be a waitlist, and you don't get to pick a therapist, and you are usually provided with a limited number of sessions.
Due to the limitations in seeking counselling through the NHS or charities, many decide to take the private therapist route. So, how do you go about finding a private counsellor?
Directories
There are a number of online directories out there where you can search for suitable therapists based on your criteria, such as experience with certain issues, client needs or demographic, geographic location, fee charged and type of therapy offered. You're then presented with a list of therapists who meet your criteria, for you to view their profiles and decide if you'd like to contact them.
Social media
Some therapists use social media as a platform to market their services so this can be another route to try and find someone suitable. The posts they share may help give you a sense of the type of therapist they are and whether you resonate with them before you contact them.
Word of mouth
When looking for other professional services, such as legal or accounting support, a typical go to is to ask friends and family for recommendations. Asking people around you for recommendations if therapists can help give you some suggestions of people to consider. However, with therapy there are ethical considerations to take into account. The unique thing about the relationship between you and your therapist is that the focus is on the story you bring, your perspective and your experience. If a family member or close friend recommended a therapist they had used themselves, it might not be ethical for that therapist to support you - it could be difficult for the therapist to maintain objectivity and it would be considered a conflict of interest.
Employee Assistance Programme
If you're employed, it may be worth checking if your employer has an Employment Assistance Programme (EAP). This will be a free service where you are allocated a therapist based on your needs who will offer you a set number of sessions to support with any issues you're experiencing. The issue does not need to be related to work and the sessions will remain confidential.
Compatibility
What's important when it comes to compatibility with your therapist will be unique to you. For example, seeing someone of the same gender, specialising in certain types of therapy, cultural background or personal experiences may be things you want to consider.
Trust your intuition
The relationship between you and your therapist is the therapy. Do you connect with what they say? Do you feel safe with them? Do you feel heard and accepted? If you feel a connection and sense that the counsellor can help, that’s a good sign.
Logistical considerations
Have a think about the practical factors when looking for a therapist. Would you prefer online or in person? Are there only certain times of the week you're available - does their availability match this? How much do they charge?
Initial consultation
Many therapists offer an initial consultation to give you a chance to get a feel for whether they're a good fit for you, and give them a chance to assess whether they can help with your issue. Use this time to ask questions if there's anything you're unsure or concerned about.
Evaluate the relationship
Once you've started with your therapist, it's useful to take time to reflect on your experience with them and evaluate how it's going. Ask yourself questions like - do you feel heard? Do they make you feel comfortable and safe opening up? Can you feel progress being made? With counselling, it can feel emotionally harder before it feels better when you start to uncover difficult feelings and face painful experiences you've been through. If something feels off, it’s okay to stop therapy with your counsellor and switch to someone else. Building trust is crucial to the process.
It’s normal to meet with a few different professionals before finding the right fit, and it’s important to feel comfortable and supported in your therapy journey. If you have a doubt over whether a counsellor is a good fit for you, it's absolutely ok to tell them so.
Are you looking for a private therapist to help you make sense of any difficult thoughts, feelings or behaviours? You can contact me to arrange a consultation.
